Complaint Containment

As I said in the current bio/”about me” thing for this blog, I don’t know exactly what it is, but I complain a lot. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or whatever, but both sides of my family are overwhelmingly primarily German (and in particular east Prussian) in origin; the Germans, stereotypically, have a penchant for complaining, so, in theory, it could be a vestigial cultural remnant. But, like pretty much everything I say about being “culturally German,” and there is quite a bit, I don’t know if it’s a coincidence/pareidolia.

Complaining is bad times tho lol 😄😄😄

I really like the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The author, Stephen Covey, who, to my recollection, had a PhD in something related to business management and relationships and ran a successful consulting business based on the kind of things he said (likely in a simpler, more approachable way, which is why I like it) in the book. To my recollection, there’s a part in the book where he talks about how, if he doesn’t watch himself, especially at home, and whether it’s by nature or nurture, he can devolve into a kind of aloof, detached, negative, maybe kind of bitchy, sniping person, which, when he’s doing his due diligence to watch himself and reflect, is less productive (in an important, interpersonal way–not just materially) and generally not who he wants to be.

I never really know how to approach it, but I continue to consider my life (at least my adult life) characterized by a time I was un- and underemployed for something like 8 years while I went to school off and on in my 20s. I think one of the big reasons I had a hard time keeping myself and my time and effort organized and productive is because, to this extent, I’m somewhat similar to Covey in that, again, whether it’s nature or nurture, if I don’t watch myself, I can be an intensely negative person. I know this is typically unpleasant, and, generally not wanting to be unpleasant, in the past, I’ve tried to deal with by not engaging with other people on the theory of 1) you always have to “be honest,” 2) “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” and 3) what I have to say isn’t nice, so 4) it’s therefore preferable simply not to engage, which 5) it’s a free country and “you don’t owe anyone your social and emotional labor,” so 6) there’s no reason to talk to people, resulting in 7) people having general bad vibes around me like either I don’t like them or I’m trying to hide something, etc.

There was a time I was going to school and working part-time at a home improvement store and, for reasons unbeknownst to me, my coworker, who, at that time, I was trying to talk to because he seemed willing to train me in the physical, technical tasks that I, at that time, I considered the width, breadth, and depth of my job, started talking to me about TV shows and things and when I hesitantly mentioned I liked Star Trek enough, I guess, referred to the character Elim Garak and how he was “playing both sides against each other.”

To me, I was just being totally emotionally neutral and, like, “fairly” working with anyone they put in front of me, “not being a troublemaker” and not scratching the surface of a kind of detached professionalism.

To them, there was all kinds of “office politics” and, like, deep interpersonal assessment that characterized their entire experience there.

I guess, if I can bring the experience back to complaining, the point of this vignette is that, you see, I was trying not to complain, knowing people don’t like that kind of thing, but my entire concept of how not to do that was simply not to engage. If someone asks me if I like Star Trek, I’ll tell them I like Star Trek, I guess, I’m not trying to be dismissive, but all I want to do is just whatever I’ve got to do to get my job done.

However, I did start complaining, because, as I’m saying, that’s really naive; despite my personal preference as a profound introvert, there’s always an interpersonal, political character to work. I basically started complaining to management about that fact and explaining, as you may be able to guess based on this post, haha, at some length about why I didn’t like the simple and natural fact that people gossip at work, basically like explaining what about birdsong I don’t like in the forest.

You’re supposed to ask yourself, fundamentally, why would anyone give a single, solitary care in the world?

I’m told the Japanese call complaining “vomiting the sound of weakness.”

Anyway, I kind of forget my point here; I’m not Japanese tho lol 😉

I think I’m trying to say, again, whether it’s nature or nurture, I’m, by this point, constitutionally just a negative, depressive, angry, bitter person by nature. I’ve come to understand why in e.g. my personal or professional lives, that’s not always pleasant for other people and, humans being social creatures, therefore myself, but I’m not fundamentally trying to be not myself in my life.

This blog is one place, among others, where I LET THAT HATE OUT like Clayton Bigsby on Chappelle’s Show back in the day. (If it matters, I have a complicated take on Dave Chappelle, which I may explain in another post.)

My imagination has never been entirely captured by music, at least in my adult life. I will occasionally post songs that posts remind me of, probably in an abstract, whimsical way.